I’ve been waiting to see you awhile… for a while. (Just learnt the difference
.) How has December been treating you thus far? It feels like the month gets a lot more credit than it deserves. All the months work their butt off and Decemeber gets to roll in at the end, announce holidays and put a smile on everyone’s face. Some do have it easy.
I’ve been struggling to write. I don’t know if it is the inclement weather or a general sense of malaise. I’ve stopped reading other personal newsletters I used to read. The past three issues have been a drag to write. I am feeling—not very inspired. I don’t know what the cause of it all is. Maybe I’m missing my family. Maybe I worry about my grandmother who has reached a point in her weariness where she can’t speak/text on the phone anymore. Maybe it’s my own disillusionment with everything I’m (not) doing and time seems to just pass me by: “writing, music, films, so much to be done. When will I do it all?” Maybe I’m anxious about the upcoming transition (there is one coming). Maybe I’m spending too much time on social media (that, I certainly am).
I am not happy with the amount of time I’ve been spending on social media. I uninstalled Twitter/Instagram from my phone last month but kept Reddit. And now I find myself surfing Reddit endlessly. In 2014-15 it was Whatsapp, 2016-17 it was YouTube, followed by Twitter and now Reddit: it seems like I take turns in wasting time on all these apps equally. Is it pitiable? Yes. Do I need a plan, a system, to stop this distraction? Yesss. I want to replace mindless internet scrolling with timeless cinema, literature and art. (pfft!) You are what you eat, right? I want to stop eating this delicious garbage.
The other day wife
and I had to fix some things around the house that involved a lot of physical activity. Hours of lifting and moving heavy things around. I was exhausted by the end of it. I felt sore all of next day. For one, I realised what poor physical shape I am in. Two, I thought about the people who do this for a living and how they put their body through such rigour on a regular basis for survival. It also made me think of blue-collar work, back home in India, where there is no ‘dignity of labour’ which exists here in America (at least on paper).
Here’s some fun news: I went to watch a football game this past week—American Football, my first time ever. I didn’t follow the game too well, even though I had watched a couple of videos about the rules beforehand. But I had a lot of fun. My FIL was of the opinion that I would be getting an incomplete American experience if I didn’t attend a football game. And was he right! It is the most American thing I experienced on this trip (apart from strangers ambushing me with “Hi, how’s it going?”, of course.) Even though it was college football, the stadium was pretty packed, the bands played with great fanfare as did the players, and the overall energy seemed high. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Wife, despite being anti-sports, drove for over an hour to the venue and back; she was a… great sport. (OK sorry).